so far so good

so far so good
Originally uploaded by cspearinca

It's good to look down before walking a bridge and read such encouraging words (:

Happy Day

new fav
Originally uploaded by cspearinca

Lately I have been in some interesting moods. Thinking of past relationships and such. I did some spring cleaning and I think I not only unsettled some dust, but also some mixed emotions. Spring is for youth and honesty and vitality... it's time to de-clutter my life and mind. I hope life continues to give me incredible opportunities and that I have the peace of mind and ability to see optimistically when life sometimes becomes a $h!t$h*w. This flower just makes me think of hope for some reason....
"Mourn the memories later
Laugh now alligator"

Penelope comes to town!

About a week or so ago I had one of my oldest friends come visit me in the city. We go way back, Temecula back. We went to the same high school and around my junior year we started hanging out all the time. I stayed at her house at least once a week and her parents took me under their oh-so-amazing wing. We seriously had the best time! Sneaking around our pathetic little town and doing what high schoolers do... nothing good. We both made great grades and had very lenient parents. Ahhh the fun I had reminiscing this past week!

The second I met Penelope at Penn Station I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I can't believe we spent so much time apart! Life does seem to come more swiftly since bills have been introduced to my life...

We hit the ground running! Went for a quick little breather back at my apartment where I opened my goodies from Penny and her family. (by the way, I just drank some coffee out of the UMASS Boston cup, thanks!) I wanted to show Penelope the lay of the land and I thought the best place to start would be a modest 30 block walk up 5th ave from 14th.

She didn't seem to mind.

Then we finally got to Rockefellar Plaza which is were I wanted to eat. (this is post Penny falling UP the stairs at one of new york's most well known landmarks, "Hey, remember when you fell? Five minutes ago?)

But boy, did she take it in stride! Putting on a smile and continuing to pose for the ever-clicking of my camera. Luckily we were just across the street from my little joint, Brasserie Ruelman. Holy Mother of Jesus, Mary, this food is out of this world! I'll let you guess what I had...

Which is gruyere, ham, grilled-heavenly goodness. So crunchy, so gooey-ooey, and comes with some duck-fat-fried french fries. Yes please, more! Penelope, in all her Bawstawn wholesomeness ordered the lobster bisque, "mmmmm this is subtly spicy". We also had some, "'What are these?' 'Cheese balls'".But our favorite part? I'll let you guess that, too...

After a few glasses of our dear-old-mischievous-familiar-friend, we wanted to go to the 'Top of the Rock'. So we skipped across the street and went to the observation deck (also known as the "rainbow room" for you Letterman fans) of the Rockefellar Building. The views were sensational! We made it to the top only after I harassed the ticket salesperson for a discount then we made our way through the maze of (un)interesting facts and history. Next thing you know we are being followed by this lovely Indian woman that wanted us to be her new friend. After we signed the prenuptial to our new friendship we went along our business and didn't realize what we had gotten ourselves in to. We couldn't shake her! (she was really quite lovely but didn't get our 'subtlety') Then she demanded to try and use my camera to take a picture of both Penny and me and we got this little gem of photography...

I think she was embarrassed and wanted some more tries because I practically had to rip my camera out of her hands and assert, firmly, that it was alright and Penelope and I made a B-line out of there! Those were some pretty incredible views and a great way for my out-of-towner-friend to get oriented with the city!

I felt like such a little tour guide. "Over there is the George Washington Bridge... and that blah blah blah" I will admit though, the best way to learn the city is from the ground!

I wanted to walk from here to this little sushi place I love.

Penelope and I hobbled over there after running out trying to shake our new friend. It was unbelievable to be able to catch up and be reminded of so many great times.

I was able to take some pretty awesome pictures on the way too. Angles and certain buildings that I never really get the chance to notice because I'm too busy running errands or just 'too busy'...

It was nice to be able to just take it easy and talk with a friend that has known me for such a long time. We kept our lunch date going with a few martinis and after that...

we made it back to my place so Penelope could get busy sleeping and waking me up early in the morning :)

The next day was filled with oddities. The most beautiful weather you could possibly ask for, bubbles, bagels, and central park. We walked all over and just basked in the ungodly warmth. (I am saying this with a tinge of resentment because the weather has been sucking ever since Penelope left! 34 degrees today? Is that really necessary?)

... more oddities. Old man playing a ukulele? Couple dressed head-to-toe in yarn knitwear pushing a "baby" that is really a sign saying "we need money for weed"?... all the norm here in this city. That's partly why I am in so in love with the city I live in... but mostly it's the New Yorker couple that just walks right between the two without batting an eyelash of reasonable question. I only noticed these little obscenities because I was looking through the eyes of a visitor...

I happen to think all of these things thread together the cathartic experience you get from this vibrant city. You can't even get a sip of water without something popping out at you!

We went to the Central Park Boathouse and relaxed while we waited for some friends. I sat in some mud which was really something special... I love this picture though! Something magically 70s about it.

Speaking of things that are "special" these shoes fit the bill. They are also quite appropriate for my current rant on things that are bizarre/odd in the city. The thing is, if I was alone or with someone from here I would probably not have even noticed these... "walking instruments". I'm probably forgetting about 8480458 things to mention but long story short I loved our weekend together! I cannot wait to go up to Boston to visit Penelope and her family!

Thanks for coming down! You are truly welcome anytime!

Ode to Mommy

Okay, this wont actually be an "ode" but it will be a pretty honest post. To reiterate, again and again, I have fallen in love with photography. Possibly because it is something that I'm good at, maybe because it is incredibly relaxing, or maybe due to the fact that pictures evoke a vast amount of emotion. When I review pictures that I have taken after a certain day, I can relay that to exactly what mood was in. Sometimes I can only take photos at a certain angle or in a certain lighting depending on how I feel. Tonight I got the rare opportunity to talk with my Mom for more than 2.35 minutes. I always call her when she is driving somewhere and has to go or she calls me when I'm at work or class or on my way to one of the two or in the subway or grocery store or... you get it.

My mother and I have such a special relationship. Ever since I was a little lad in Oklahoma (Yes, those of you that have met me post California or New York I was born in Oklahoma and lost the accent) I felt a special bond with my madre and older brother. It was just us. Not for too long though. I miss some of those times. We were dirt poor but my mom has never let me feel poor, never. She is superwoman. I remember her long curly blond hair that she would tie with my belts because it was so thick and sometimes she would french braid it. My brother was so protective and wanted to teach me everything, until he got too cool for me. He taught me how to color inside the lines... I later taught myself how to color outside of the lines.

Back to mommy. The three of us were as thick as thieves and my weekends were spent with my amazing grandparents on a farm. Then my mom married and we moved away. To a new life... South Carolina.

I grew so much. And just as I uncomfortably forced myself into skin that didn't fit, I moved to Atlanta where I discovered myself. I started smoking. I started to be me... and I learned to be okay. My mom was crazy during this time because of her pregnancy with my little brother and sister and I was at an age that I hated my parents. To think of those years hurts but it has shaped the relationship I have now.

My mom put so much pressure on me. Then we moved to California. I was popular at last. I had friends, lots of them. I still love my two best friends, Courtney and Helen, just as much as our high school years. My mom let me drink and smoke and if I didn't have to watch my little brother or sister life was pretty good. My mom taught me to have poise. My mom taught me to be me. I carry my head high no matter how much life wants to bring me down. This woman taught me to tackle every situation. We didn't have a great relationship though, her other kids weighed her down... her marriage weighed her down. I had to break free of California and I flew away... far away. I moved to New York City.

I had to get away from my family. My mom let me go. That had to be hard. We were just starting to get close too. She taught me that I can conquer the universe, no matter what. And that faith is stronger than status or money. I've been gone for a few years now... alone and far away.

When I feel most alone though it doesn't take much to find solace. I open my window and blinds and try and find the tie that binds us. No matter where I am in this world... no matter where she is in this world... we look at the same moon. I miss my mom every day. I'm so lucky that she is still in this universe with me however, the physical distance sometimes hurts. I know my aunt must miss her mommy more than I can imagine and I don't want to sound bratty saying that I miss mine while still blessed enough to have her to call and visit from time to time. I also know that Jill's mom is shining down on her just as mine is every time I catch a glimpse of the moon.

Mommy, I miss you and life is hard. Thank you for giving me the tools I need to be the incredible man I am today and the success we both know I am and will be. You will always be my strength and any accomplishment I have in life is a gift from you. I am so proud of you. Here is a picture I took tonight while on the phone with you...

L.I.F.E. is for P.I.N.K.B.E.R.R.Y.

I want Pinkberry now! I have been stressed out over school and a bunch of other menial things and I just needs some kiwi, raspberry, mochi, mango pinkberry in my life. It seems to make everything better. I don't know when I started eating my feelings but at least I'm choosing a healthy way of doing so (I say healthy loosely... very loosely).
I don't want you, I need you! Thank you Naked Brothers Band for those, oh-so-meaningful, lyrics. Combine this tasty treat with a day that is 72 degrees and sunny and not a care in the world and all of my stresses melt away...
So, for now, I'm not going to care about exactly how this summer is going to work, or how I'm going to survive for the next few months on 45cents, or even how I'm going to finish today while feverishly trying to crunch numbers that don't really exist. I'm going to enjoy life... and my new motto.
*more coming soon*

Dear Johnny Weir

Why are you so sexy? ... I just cannot get enough of this guy lately! He is so hysterical and expressive. Super athletic and at the same time femme and cute. I don't know what it is about him that makes me smile every time I see him on TV. I really need to watch pop star on ice!

Ingrid Michaelson is a pimp

Rochelle came to town! I am always so excited to see her and our little shenanigans that ensue shortly after we get together make me smile . I love this lady! She is going to be my baby-mama for sure! ...but for now, she is a fantastic friend that I love and cherish.

Just picture our children.... oh golly! Okay back to Ingrid and Rochelle's visit (however short it might have been).

Rochelle also brought her friend, Hope, who is super nice and lovely.

I find this picture to be absolutely hilarious for a number of reasons. Rochelle looks pissed, her friend is totally cute and smiling like a normal person, and there is a giant panda in the background. I'm not going to lie, there is one thing that inspired me to take this photo... I wanted a picture of the person in the panda costume but did not want to pay a "tip" for the picture... so I figure if the panda is in the background it should be free, riiiight? Well, you can't even see the panda really but trust me, it's there.

Next stop, Ingrid! But first, the ferry.

...Which means lots of adorable pictures! You'll notice there is also a giant panda in the background of this photo just to the left of Rochelle's head...

I am loving the close-up pictures of my friends and their sexiest features. I love how expressive eyes can be... and I find it so sexy that Rochelle's dark eyes carry so much thought. But more than that...

I adore her smile. Speaking of beautiful women...

This woman has captured the hearts and minds of millions. I stood on the frigid balcony just because I knew as the sun was setting we would eventually be in a place where it would be just behind lady liberty. This silhouette has got to be one of my new favorite pictures. Totally worth the wind and cold!

Ingrid Michaelson!!! I did not even realize how awesome she was until the concert got underway... but I was certainly excited beforehand.

And then...

And then...

It began! Her band was amazing and she was incredibly witting and hysterical. She kept making jokes about Staten Island (which may be an easy target but, funny nonetheless) and one of my favorite parts was when she asked us to sing back a lyric to her and the audience was all quiet and she says, "I know you museum-y folk have your butts clenched really tightly but just relax and sing the song. It's okay to unclench your asses". What do you know, after that, we all sang a little louder and were more enthusiastic!

Her and her band had such great chemistry and you could tell they were just having a good time. They also sang this great song together that just made me smile really big and not stop until... well, the next day.

Ingrid, you and your incredible wittiness and satirical and dry humor totally entertained me. Your music rocked, and I had an amazing time. Thanks for being... you. I will actually buy your new CD because it is indeed that good... great!

I could only end this post with a fist-pump. You're welcome :D

Long Island with some incredible peeps

This past weekend I went to Long Island when I should have been studying, cleaning, paying bills, essentially getting my life together. But what went through my mind was, "Christian, you'll be so much more apt to take care of all of this when you are mentally satiated from seeing Rochelle... right? Who cares!" So I hopped on the Long Island Rail Road and high-tailed it to Rocky Point.

So I packed up my ipod, book, reeces, banana, cliff bar, several shirts, some dress shoes, pants, jeans, a scarf... just the basics for a 48 hour trip you know? This is what happens when a growing boy goes on a hefty one hour train ride... you get hungry! Witness the destruction above. So, the reason I got to go was because my school was closed for two days because of the copious amount of snow we were getting!

And it wouldn't STOP!

This was taken from a moving train.

(do not worry, no college students were harmed in the taking of this picture)

I must admit it does look nice and fluffy and cute but enough already!

And then my train pulled in to Ronkonkoma and the snow was still coming down heavy. My cheeks were hurting from smiling and the cold flushed my face... teeth chattering and obnoxiously energetic I called Rochelle and she was... late. So I took the opportunity to click away around the station until she arrived on her golden chariot. Speaking of chariots lets play the game "spot the camero"

Did you find it? Give it another 12 hours of snowing and I promise you wouldn't. Then Rochelle and Debbie got there and I smile some more and talked their heads off... sorry guys! I got this face a lot this weekend.

What is it about my friends that they always look at me like this? Wait. Maybe... just maybe it's not my friends. Maybe it's me? And my obnoxiousness obsession with taking pictures. Hmmmm scratch that theory that just can't be the case!

Even Samatha, this incredibly sweet Great Dane, gave me the look. Well, she had more like "who are you and why are you here?" kinda look. She is taller than me (and I'm not short) and weighs about 130lbs. Very statuesque if you ask me... 6'4" and 130lbs... girl you got it goin' on! Every time I went over to Debbie's house I had so much fun playing with the gentle giant. I hope I'm invited back!

Turns out that she really likes me!

After playing with the dog Rochelle and I had big plans at her Dad's house.... mainly that of ROCK BAND! I have never played rock band before this weekend and it turns out that I'm addicted. I played guitar hero all the darn time freshman year of college but this is so much better! Why you ask? Because you look to your right and see this...

Rochelle sang her little heart out! "QUE'EST CE QUE C'EST? FAFA FA FA FAFAFA FA" and looked sexy doing it. So we did a little singing, a little partying, a little sinning, and all that fun stuff. I had such a great time and met some pretty awesome (and attractive) people. I love Long Island with Rochelle and her awesome friends! The next day I woke up feeling less than amazing. I woke up with the blanket disheveled, my hair in every different direction, and my head felt like there was a crowbar plying through my temples. My cerebellum didn't know what was up or down and all I could do was collapse on the couch and whine. I found some meds and was up and taking pictures in no time! We had bagels with, get this, olive cream cheese! It was amazing. That and my acai juice and some raspberries made me a new man and I shot Rochelle's eye sitting next to me... and there happens to be a friend in her pupil if you can see the reflection.

You just gotta love cool eye shots!

Between Rochelle, the food, the drinks, the friends, and the dogs I don't know if I could have had a better time! I definitely had a great time at her dad's, and amazing time with the great dane and Crystal and Debbie, an incredible time with Mark and dancing and the club... this was just the weekend I needed.

Skippy!

I will definitely be adding more soon but I should probably stop blogging in class...

through these green eyes

through these green eyes
Originally uploaded by cspearinca

These are the green eyes (well EYE really) that I speak of. I'm guessing that those closest with me see this aspect of me more often than not... I would apologize but what can I say? I'm in love!